Not going to lie, I started freaking out early.
Most parents wait until their kids start asking questions to worry about “The Santa Lie,” but my anxiety kicked in just before my daughter’s first birthday. I looked at this tiny, perfect little human and felt a knot in my stomach.
Am I planning a childhood based on deception? Am I overthinking this?
I was torn. I didn’t want to break her trust, but I was terrified of stealing the magic, too. I spent that whole year overthinking it.
The Christmas before her second birthday rolled around, I knew I needed a solution. That was the year the very first version of Team Holly Jolly was born. Now, we are on the fifth iteration of this story. It has evolved and grown alongside my daughter, but the core mission has remained exactly the same.
I knew I didn’t want “Naughty Elves.” Let’s be honest: toddlers DO NOT need a reason to be destructive. They don’t need a tutorial from an Elf on how to make a mess or draw on the walls!
I wanted magic without the mischief. I wanted kindness, not chaos.
Then, a friend forwarded me a story that cemented everything I was feeling. I don’t know who the original author is, but it shifted my perspective from “deception” to “initiation.”
If you are struggling with the Santa Secret, read this:
The Truth About Santa
Son: “Dad, I think I’m old enough now. Is there a Santa Claus?”
Dad: “Ok, I agree that you’re old enough. But before I tell you, I have a question for you. You see, the ‘truth’ is a dangerous gift. Once you know something, you can’t unknow it. Once you know the truth about Santa Claus, you will never again understand and relate to him as you do now. So my question is: Are you sure you want to know?”
Brief pause…
Son: “Yes, I want to know.”
Dad: “Ok, I’ll tell you: Yes, there is a Santa Claus.”
Son: “Really?”
Dad: “Yes, really, but he’s not an old man with a beard in a red suit. That’s just what we tell kids. You see, kids are too young to understand the true nature of Santa Claus, so we explain it to them in a way that they can understand.
The truth about Santa Claus is that he’s not a person at all; he’s an idea.
Think of all those presents Santa gave you over the years. I actually bought those myself. I watched you open them. And did it bother me that you didn’t thank me? Of course not! In fact, it gave me great pleasure.
You see, Santa Claus is THE IDEA OF GIVING FOR THE SAKE OF GIVING, without thought of thanks or acknowledgement.
When I saw that woman collapse on the subway last week and called for help, I knew that she’d never know that it was me that summoned the ambulance. I was being Santa Claus when I did that.”
Son: “Oh.”
Dad: “So now that you know, you’re part of it. You have to be Santa Claus too now. That means you can never tell a young kid the secret, and you have to help us select Santa presents for them, and most important, you have to look for opportunities to help people. Got it?”
Raising a Generation of Santas
While there is no verified, original author. This “Santa Claus is an idea” piece has been circulating since at least the late 1990s or early 2000s online. I am really grateful to the originator, as it helped steer me in deciding how I wanted to guide the Christmas traditions of my Little Awesome.
This perspective is exactly why I created Team Holly Jolly. I realized that the “Elf” tradition shouldn’t be about stressing parents out with elaborate pranks or cleaning up flour from the kitchen floor at 6 AM.
It should be about training our kids to join the team.
When our Elves model kindness, like when they bake cookies, read books, or leave little notes, they aren’t just performing a trick. They are teaching our children the spirit of giving. We aren’t lying to them; we are preparing them to become the next generation of Santas.
If you want to focus on connection over perfection this year (and skip the destruction), I’d love for you to join us.
It’s not too late to start. We’ve put together a “12 Days of Elf Magic” plan that takes you right up to Christmas Eve. It’s full of simple, kind, and cozy ideas, the perfect way to countdown to the big day.